show – Best Chance Media

By Jennifer Braddock – Editor

Ever feel like your characters are trapped in an eternal tennis match of “he said” / “she said”? You can almost hear the ball bouncing:

“I’m leaving,” she said.
“No, you’re not,” he said.
“Yes, I am,” she said.

Yawn. Your readers didn’t sign up for a hostage situation with repetitive dialogue tags. Let’s break them out. Change the conversation to move the story ahead by showing, and not telling:

“I’m leaving.” She stormed out the door and instantly returned when she walked into a rainstorm.

“No, you’re not!” He grabbed and unfurled an umbrella.

“Yes, I am.” She pulled up her collar and the two walked out together under the umbrella.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to hunt down those tired, overused words in your manuscript. Replace them with fresher, more engaging options. When we’re finished, your dialogue will sparkle. Your pacing will pick up. Your beta readers will stop glazing over halfway through a page.

Step 1: Identify the Repeat Offenders

We all have comfort words we don’t even notice we’re using. Common culprits:

Said / replied / asked (every third line in dialogue)
Filler verbs: looked, turned, walked, sat, smiled, nodded
Filters: thought, realized, noticed, felt
Intensifiers: very, really, quite, suddenly

Step 2: Make Dialogue Do the Heavy Lifting

Instead of relying on endless “he said” tags, you can:

Use action beats: “I’m leaving.” Mara shoved her keys into her pocket.
Use body language: “You think I care?” Sam crossed his arms and stared at the floor.
Let the voice carry the tone: If the dialogue itself is distinctive, you can often skip the tag entirely.

Step 3: Search and Replace With Purpose

Find each overused word.
Decide if it’s needed — many can be cut.
Replace with a synonym only if it feels natural. For example:
- “Said” could become “muttered,” “shouted,” “whispered,” “teased” — but don’t go overboard or you’ll end up sounding like a bad thesaurus.
Read aloud — if the replacement sounds forced, try rewriting the sentence instead of swapping the word.

Step 4: Keep a Repeat Word List

Make a running list of the words you tend to overuse. For example, if “just” appears 437 times, maybe 420 of them can go.

Step 5: Turn Editing Into a Game

Set a timer for 20 minutes. Each time you find and fix a repetitive word, tally a point. Reward yourself with chocolate, coffee, or smug satisfaction when you beat yesterday’s score.

50 Overused Words & Phrases to Hunt in Your Manuscript

I looked up a few sources and categorized this list of 50. If you need more information, check these out. The AP Style Manual should at least be on your bookshelf.

Style guides (Chicago Manual of Style, AP Style, and fiction editing resources)
Writing coach checklists (Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne & King)
Author-reported word tallies (forums like the National November Writing Month board-NaNoWriMo)

Dialogue tags:
1. Said
2. Asked
3. Replied
4. Answered

Filler verbs:
5. Looked
6. Turned
7. Walked
8. Went
9. Came
10. Sat
11. Stood
12. Gave
13. Got
14. Took
15. Made

Filter words (create distance from POV):
16. Thought
17. Felt
18. Knew
19. Realized
20. Noticed
21. Saw
22. Heard
23. Decided

Weak modifiers & intensifiers:
24. Very
25. Really
26. Just
27. Quite
28. Almost
29. Nearly
30. Suddenly
31. A little
32. A bit
33. Kind of / sort of

Overused reactions:
34. Smiled
35. Laughed
36. Nodded
37. Shook head
38. Sighed
39. Frowned
40. Raised eyebrows
41. Rolled eyes

Time/transition crutches:
42. Then
43. After
44. Before
45. While
46. When
47. As
48. Again
49. Suddenly
50. Finally

Final Thought: Your characters deserve better than a monotonous ping-pong match of “he said” / “she said.” Give them movement, emotion, and distinctive voices, and your readers will thank you. And hey, if you must keep a “he said,” make sure it’s one that really earns its spot.

Do you have questions or comments? Ask Besty Bot about the writing craft and how to publish your book with Best Chance Media!

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🤯 If I read “he said” one more time… I’ll scream — she said.
💬 Ditch the echo chamber! Use action, emotion, and unique voices to keep dialogue fresh.
🔍 Pro tip: Ctrl+F your repeat offenders & set your story free! #WritingTips ✏️ #AmEditing 🖊️ #WritersLife 📚 #EditingHacks 🔍 #DialogueTips 💬 #IndieAuthor 🚀 #WritingCommunity 🌍 #AuthorLife 📖 #FictionWriting 🖋️ #WIP 💡 https://bestchancemedia.org/2025/10/16/if-i-read-he-said-one-more-time-ill-scream-she-said-2/

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Thank you for your response. ✨

By Jennifer Braddock – Editor

You’ve probably heard the advice “show, don’t tell” tossed around in every writing workshop, critique group, or how-to book. If you’re a newer writer, that phrase can feel like a riddle.

What does it really mean?

They sound like the same thing!

When is telling actually okay?

Let’s break it down.

What is “Telling”?

Telling is the act of summarizing a scene, emotion, or action. It’s straightforward and often quick. Think of it like giving the audience a news report.

Telling example:

Maria was nervous about the audition. She didn’t think she was good enough.

The reader gets the information, but there’s no emotional immersion. You’re told what Maria feels, but you don’t feel it alongside her.

What is “Showing”?

Showing brings the reader into the scene with sensory details, action, dialogue, and subtext. It lets readers experience the story.

Showing example:

Brenda clutched the script so tightly her knuckles turned white. She mouthed the lines again, her voice barely a whisper. When the casting assistant called her name, her feet stayed rooted to the floor for half a beat longer than necessary.

You aren’t told she’s nervous, you see it in her actions. Showing invites the reader to infer emotion and meaning through behavior and atmosphere.

So… Is Telling Bad?

No! Telling has its place, especially when you need to move through time quickly, summarize minor events, or create narrative distance. It becomes a problem when it replaces emotional depth or undermines key moments.

Here’s the trick:
Use telling for transitions. Use showing for transformation.

Blending the Two

Good storytelling is a balance of showing and telling. Imagine your manuscript like a film. You don’t need to zoom in on every moment in high-def slow motion. When your character’s heart is breaking, let us feel it. When the villain turns, show us the glint in their eye. When your protagonist is growing, show us the stretch marks of that change.

Let’s Compare – A Scene, Told and Shown

Told:

Jesse was heartbroken when Elena left him. He missed her terribly.

Shown:

Jesse stood in the darkened kitchen, the coffee pot still half-full from the morning she left. He picked up her favorite mug and ran his thumb along the chip at the rim. The silence in the apartment buzzed louder than the refrigerator.

The first version is faster, but emotionally distant. The second immerses you in Jesse’s world. It lets you feel the weight of his grief without ever using the word “heartbroken.”

Your Turn – Take Action

The next time you revise a scene, ask yourself:

Am I showing emotion, or just labeling it?
Can I replace a summary sentence with a sensory detail, action, or snippet of dialogue?
Where does telling help with pacing, and where does it steal emotional resonance?

Writing isn’t about choosing one over the other. It’s about mastering both.

Your challenge:
Take one paragraph from your current draft. Identify where you’re telling. Then rewrite it to show. Feel the difference. See how your story comes alive.

You’ve got this. Your readers don’t want to be told how your character feels, they want to feel it with them.

Final Word

Showing is where your story breathes. Telling is how it moves. Together, they give your narrative rhythm, shape, and soul. Mastering the difference is what turns decent prose into unforgettable fiction.

Now go show us something we can’t forget.